The Worst Advice I’ve Ever Heard About Time

Time is a tricky business. It goes by so fast when you’re having the time of your life, and it is so long-lasting when you want a moment to pass you by. You guys, this post was written for the people who are trying to “make it.” It was written for the people who are doing what they can, no matter what, to make themselves proud. I have compiled a list of all the things that I have heard about time (in relation to one’s love life and career) and I am sharing my thoughts and opinions on those sayings here with you. Can you relate? I bet you can. Now, onto the sayings about time…

#1. “Time waits for no one!”

People say this all the time with the intention of putting a spirit of fear in you to settle for peanuts, in order to reach those life “milestones” that you supposedly should reach by a certain time, instead of waiting for the thing that you actually are looking for.

Having a goal and a vision for your life (whether it’s the kind of person that you want to marry and or have kids with, or whether it’s the kind of that job you’re interested in having) is not a pipe dream and it’s not wishful thinking. For me, it’s called having standards.

Why would I waste my time with things and people who don’t put a smile on my face and warmth in my heart? Why would I settle into a job that I’m not excited about saying that I do for a living? Time may not wait for anybody but happiness is more than relative. You can’t force yourself to be happy when you settle all around.

#2. “The clock is ticking!”

I know that you’ve heard this one too (especially if you’re a woman!). Though I do believe that studies have shown its better for men to have children when they’re younger too, women get all the flack because the proverbial “clock” is literally ticking if you want to have kids before menopause (and let’s not forget that, despite medical advances, safe pregnancies are generally had when you’re younger).

As soon as you hit dating age, some people start looking at you like you’re meant to be an incubator and they start asking you whether you’re seeing anyone “special” or they ask you the age-old “when are you going to settle down?

The reality is that a lot of women out there would love to get married and or have kids (and I happen to be one of them). But when you do want those things, is it really OK to settle when it comes to the person you marry and or have kids with? And if you have managed to be one of the lucky ones, because you do have that special someone in your life, the questions (from what I’ve heard) only get more intensive. I think society has made it OK to ask questions that are actually very personal, and nobody’s business but the bodies they involve, and that really needs to stop.

#3. “Give yourself X number of years, and if it doesn’t happen….”

This is what people in your life might be telling you in order to put a deadline on your dreams. You know, in writing this post, it has struck me how society has come up with a bunch of isms which all mean the same thing! We’re encouraged to settle into mediocrity, in every area of our lives, in spite of the fact that there are so many people out there who are literally living their dreams (and it took longer than a few years for them to get there). There is no secret formula to “making it.” I think that the people who got there just never gave up.

#4. “Live in the moment.”

People toss this saying around like it’s something that we should live by all the time, but I believe that it’s a kind of half-truth that is sometimes timely and sometimes definitely not.  Of course, you should enjoy every good moment that you have, but living only in the moment? No.

People have bills to pay, plans to make, and experiences to reflect on (in order to learn from their mistakes and come out on the other side better for it – but not identifying with their mistakes as part of who they are).

I know that savouring time is something that people impress on us a lot, because of how shoddy life can be for moments in time (and those shoddy moments in time can sometimes impact the rest of our lives) but you have to look ahead, behind you, and you obviously have to look at where you are. Sometimes the past can become your present and your present can become your future.

So, that’s the worst advice that I have ever heard about time. Have I missed anything? Do let me know (in one way or another)!

– Adaora

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